Gasp

Take me in breathe for me where the air in my lungs has turn to poison
The pressure is on im swimming in all of this now
Its drowning me im in over my head and I don’t see the light
The walls in my thoughts close in leaving only a glimpse of truth
And the pain in my chest tightens and chokes out the joy in me
My hope is gone and I can’t hold on and it’s all closing in again
Where’s the end where does it stop it’s all a blur again
One of those bad dreams but I can’t seem to pinch myself awake
Why does it hurt so bad when I thought I was letting go
Why does this follow me when im leaving no hints of what im headed for
Give me a next step please and may the next time I open my eyes can this just be over
Ive hurt enough and seen enough ive lived enough I just want to be safe
Im leaving my heart outside of me now theres no other way
I wish someone was on my side its become and unfair game
These memories are chasing me no matter where I run
And im down to the last of me im ready to just give up
Ive given in to believing that to this whole mess theres an end
Because every step forward theres two back and it rushes in all over again
I want to escape all of this and I don’t know how
So im traped in myself pounding and scratching trying to fight my way past this wall
And its me im fighthing my own heart and my own thougts
I want to be someonelse just for day even a moment
So I can remember what it’s like to breathe easy and not pretend
Maybe just maybe there is no end and I am who I am and im stuck where im stuck
Quite possibly could there be no over for me…