Control

Theres a restless spirit deep within me fighting to take control
if i could just hold on if i could take the reighns i think illd be ok?
if i could tell you i hate you or its ok cause i never cared or if i could believe it all felt so wrong
if i could convince myself that your not worth my time or everything i feel is a lie
This spirit is growing stronger this thing that wants control
i want to decide when and where my heart goes
cause then you wouldnt have it YOU wouldnt have control
i said i wouldnt believe in a single word you said then where did i lose myself where did I end
if only i would of ran when i knew it would keep me safe
if only i would have controled my self and not let you take that place
that place in me where i listen and i believe
I hate that I would ever let anyone effect me
and you did and now im hear wishing i would have just had control
this spirit inside of me is saying it told me so
i never know where my heart ends up when i dont have control
and its the scariest thing this breathe choking me in my throat
my heart is pounding because i just dont know
i dont know where i go to now i dont know what all this meansj
the confusions overwhelming and that spirit the control its batteling me
i want to let go of you forget just who you are
i want to forget those words that youll never live up to, i want to forget you
if only i had control of any of this of who we are
maybe then i wouldnt have let my heart wander off so far
you have it now and i dont know how to get it back
but i cant live in control cause my God knows that i know better than that