Some write Psalms...

There’s something in me that seems to be losing grip and I’m losing you now
It wasn’t supposed to end like this. You were it I felt it in my bones, my very being knew we were meant for something more.

I can feel it in my pit at my heart; in my soul I need your song. So, why I have I lost, why is this gone.
And I wanna shake you, forcefully in my release...can’t you feel it….this can’t just be me
It’s all too big, and it’s all too much.
Cause when I see your face It’s not you that I see, It’s the very face of God, as a man, and you as He.
And I can see his love written all over you, for his purpose you were marked. His blood is etched in your soul. And that’s how I know, your not just any man…This I know I know your not.
Why else would I recognize, why could only I see, the very best of you could be for the worst of me.
Your words are heavy like an anchor on my heart, and yet here I stand barely holding on, falling apart.

And I wanna shake you , can’t you feel it too!?
It’s more than you think I can feel it in the depths of me. And may I be so bold to say that to God on my knees I have begged I have screamed
To take this from me I don’t want it anymore, for some other women, not me my flesh is torn, and I am weak…I can’t just sit and wait for you to see me.

Oh how I see you, how I see you and I know. Man of God, you have fought, you may fall. But, theres a target on your life, one I know all to well. That there will be battle to win you, a literal war raging from hell.
And I ask you, If I could shake you…just shake you, you must feel it too.

I feel like im losing, like it’s slipping now, and I have never let go of something so many times and every time I open my fist God closes it just in time….time enough for him to whisper wait…whisper where is your faith.

But what now, when all seems to falling apart, How can I wait God, how can I wait for him to see. The eyes you have given me is not the same sight that has plagued his being, but oh how it has plagued me like a sickness like a pain, flesh tearing, heart breaking, uneasy, running, screaming, fearing, BEAUTIFUL pain.
It wasn’t supposed to end like this, not where I sit now. This wasn’t in the picture, that twisted portrait of faith. This isn’t safe.

And what’s left of me, another mess on my knees wrapped seamlessly in your arms crying to break free. Clearly there’s a piece of him I need, God I am scared, alone, and I’m here.

God could you shake him, could you just shake him…He has to feel it too.